i'M A FUNKY NOT A JUNKY!

Worth Reading? very long..


Okay..last Saturday I had a literal panic attatck.
Thinking of school.  How horrifying is was going to be.
What pictures will be floating around.
How many friends I would have lost..
How many I wont be meeting..
How many classes I'm already going to get kicked out of...
ect.

So the first day of school..
I was so sick to my stomache..
Everything was going wrong at & at seven we left no matter how unready I was. ha.
We pick up brody..

I get there..and feel eyes on the back of my neck. Had they seen?
Do they know what I was planning on doing over the summer?
Why they hadn't seen me?
or what was said?

I get out of the car..and my backpack falls out..
I see a few kids I used to know..not to long ago..they were my friends during summer school..and they turn away..
Eli sort of gives me a shifty eye and smiles..

I walk in.. my bag breaks.. all of my stuff falls out.. FUCK!!!
Hayley comes over to me, helps me and goes MAYGAN MAYGAN MAYGAN!!!
 Of couse she  wouldn't care what i've done, or what people thought I had done. 
I spend the rest of the day with "hos"..and yes they are proud..
Trevor won't even look at me. 
Trent wouldn't either...
at break a group of people pointed at me "She's a whore!"

O.O; oh my god..
so the next few days were okay..
Anthony and I get into so many fights over the rumors I spend most of my time trying to fix that...

So... Picture day... I get all nice.. it's raining..
NICE..
I see Trevor and the day before  I was talking to his friend about how i'm not a whore..and I thought about it that night..

My amazing conversation starter was "You know, you're the only one I've done more than kiss with; and I've NEVER kissed you."
WAY TO GO MAYGAN!!
 He laughs..and says "WOW." and throws his arms around me...
We start talking..the funny thing is.. him and I are standing in the pouring rain on picture day.
everyone else is hiding..and dry..
Light shirt..dark bra..rain...great..
Jesse undid my bra.. Karen fixed it because he couldn't and I started dancing in the rain...
Jesse gives me his jacket and his hat....lol..a very emo one..
and I smear my makeup..
let's just say I have to take retakes...
AHAHAHAHA!

So basically Nacho was trying to get me back all week
but still making out with random girls..
 and I'm digging myself a deeper whole..
Jonny comes up to me..
"HOLY CRAP, MAYGAN I SAW THE PICTURES!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"
later on Nacho says "If a guy does it, it's funny a girl does it, she's a whore."

I wasn't thinking!!!! God..

uhm.. oh yeah.. Wednesday..
Even though I am a sophomore..I am still the baby.. no joke..there are new freshman.. I am the  baby, the one that everyone has to save, and hide from big bad high school..

the seniors always mess with me..like pick me up, or cover my eyes...but they never touch me innopropreately..
Some guy put his hands over my eyes..and I am getting groped all over so obviously there are multiple people I fight out and I see a large group of people standing there laughing.. I have a blank stare...Jesse runs out to me (he's a while away.) Someone makes the snide remark "well now we know we can rape her easily.."
 "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS DO TO HER?!!?! IF YOU EVER..." he held me,  "oh my god miha, are you okay?!" Trent was staring at a distance.. like a "I told you so look."



Commense greatest day of the week?
So Trent has been treating my like crap but when I put my cheer uniform he hugged me..
WTF?
people were ignoring me..all morning that morning..
stood next to  Trevor...
"HEY MAYGAN!"
everyone talks to me..
lol.
Okay..so I cheer really well at the game..I even get compliments..
After the game, I changed and put on make up..
Varsity game starts in 30 minutes..Anthony calls..
I meet him.. "WHERE WERE YOU?" he said he had to run some erinds..
I gave him a dirty look.."fine."
All the football players were hugging me and talking to me ect..
Anthony was furious..
we stood at the fence to watch the game and he wrapped his arms around me.. gliding his hand towards my boobs..
I look up at him and throw his arm off, move away and pull out my sweatshirt.. 
I see Karen and he kisses me and says go.. I kinda like..feel like yelling at him but I leave..
I meet all the really cute sweet boys..
and Andrew goes.. "WHY ARE YOU DATING HIM?!" and I said Im not..
He goes, "right, look, you could do better!!!"
I go over to Anthony..and he hides his phone.. "I hate that Andrew kid.." he said.. "He's such a fag."
 replied "you're one to talk"
and he giggles puts his arm around me again "you're so FUNNY!"

WOW!.. so we sit on the bench and Rubin picks me up and throws me over his shoulders..Anthony...doesn't say anything when I get back from my "ride" lol
Anthony pulls me in to sit on his lap and Rubin pulls me back out and puts his arm around me..
him and Anthony talk about how good of friends they are..

Rubin kisses my cheek.. "BYE SQUISHY!"

I'm drawn back into Anthony.. He puts his hand up my shirt and kisses me again..
I jump out and Yell at him.. "WHAT THE HELL STOP!! SERIOUSLY!"
and he said "everyone else does it!"

OH MY GOD!!! "well if everyone jumped off a bridge would Anthony do it too?"  and "Have you noticed I DON'T LIKE THE PEOPLE WHO DO THAT TO ME?!?!" 

he backed off..
he's still checking his phone.. I say "hey, let's go behind the bleachers.."
lol meaning all my friends are there and I hate his... he grabs my phone and checks everything on it..
so I grab his.. he throws me to the ground and tries to force it away.. I sock him get up and read his texts..
Texts to his..ex.. Chris compton's new girl.. and other girls..and the replies..of pictures..of their bodies..and stuff..
I walked him back to his friends..and head back to mine while he looked away..
I burried my head into Karen's shoulder and cry. Andrew said to call michelle and he'll talk to her.. so I tell her what happend and she wanted to pick me up, I was still crying hysterically. Erica Andrew and Karen talked her into letting me stay.. Anthony kept texting me while he was five feet away the whole time..yes he fallowed me. So basically I have the entire Jv freshman and most of varsity football team willing to kick his ass and my "goth friends" as anthony calls it..
Nacho shows up five minutes  before the game ends..Anthony wouldn't stop talking to me and I run to Nacho..how I saw him so far away is beyond me..it was like I wanted to see him. he goes "what's wrong?" I say nothing..and he says.. Why are you hugging me so tight then?

He left work..to make sure I was okay...and stayed with me..
that was 4 hours..and missed work.
I tried to tell Chris about Anthony's phone and he said I just wanted him back..
WTF?!?!?! whatever!!!
so..I go to the dance.. and I dance with everyone I can get my hands on..
most of them tried to kiss me.. but I'd turn away..

I slow danced with Cody, my long haired freshman ^^;

so Nacho texted me Saturday morning. "anthony asked a girl out last night.. I had to tell you.."
I was like..wow..that's..great. All Saturday.. I felt.. numb getting random texts.. mean ones..I turned my phone off and got ready to get a hair cut.. she calls and cancels.. AMAZING.. I wanted to just cut it all off..like it would get rid of all the pain.. but I couldn't I didn't talk all day.. I read..300 pages.. I NEVER READ..
 Michelle kind of hints at hanging out with Andrea..so  call her sunday.. ignoring the voicemails.. the texts and we hung out..she stayed the night last night..it wasn't the same..but at the same time it was better.. i like being with her...she knows a lot about me, but was never phased.. I guess because I'm me.. she is very goody goody..but she respects me...no matter what I do.. and she stands behind me.. I think.. I may have found.. a friend?

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